Day 2: Two important questions

I talked to my mom last night and shared the briefest bit of what I’m doing and why. She’s awesome, of course, and let me say as much or as little as I wanted. I’m still keeping quiet about this blog, and told her than my aim is to plop a finished draft in her lap on December first. Until then, I’m heads down in the work.

But our conversation veered to the idea I’m working on in general: getting past the same problem I’ve struggled with for years. And there are multiple things in my life like this in addition to writing novels.

I want to lose weight but I’ve only ever gained it.

I want to declutter my house, but I’ve only ever added messes.

I want to start a business, but I’ve only ever made excuses.

I want to get myself on a spending budget, but I’ve only ever lived beyond my means and just barely stayed on top of debt.

ANYWAY, I think I figured out the two most important questions. By themselves, they’re useless at best and harmful at worst. But together, they are powerful if answered honestly.

Question 1: Why do I want this?

I need to know my true motivation. Because if the answer is, “because she has it” then that’s not good enough. If the answer is, “to show my daughter that less is more”, then that’s not only worth it, it’s massively important.

Question 2: What will I do about it?

There’s not a single one of the items I listed for which I cant’t make a plan to achieve it. Knowledge, in the day and age we live in, should never be an excuse for not going after something. Looking through the list above, I know exactly what to do. Sure, some steps are harder than others, some will take more time, some will take doing things I’ve never done before. The point remains, I know the “what” answer.

If I just ask question 1, I’ll never move beyond wanting. And as my slightly crass great grandfather once said, “You can wish in one hand and sh** in the other, guess which fills up faster?”

If I just ask question 2, I won’t know if what I’m doing is serving the right goals and motivations. This has been a reality in my life for multiple years in a row, when I pursued and online coaching side-business without knowing why (or even if) I wanted it in the first place.

Asking both together helps me understand myself and then make an action plan.

Of course, I can also ask questions and make plans all day and never make progress. But that’s a topic for another day.